Circle of Trust Touchstones
1. Be present as fully as possible. Be here with your doubts, fears and failings as well as your convictions, joys and successes, your listening as well as your speaking.
2. Choose for yourself when and how to participate. There is always an invitation,
never an invasion; always opportunity, never demand.
3. Speak for yourself, of your own truth, with respect for how that might differ
from others’ truths. Use “I” statements.
4. No fixing, advising,” saving,” or correcting one another. Instead, learn to respond
to others with honest, open questions. With such questions, we help “hear each
other into deeper speech.”
5. When the going gets rough, turn to wonder and curiosity. If you feel judgmental, or defensive, ask yourself,” I wonder what brought her to this belief?” “I wonder
what he’s feeling right now?” “I wonder what my reaction teaches me about
myself?” Set aside judgment to listen to others—and to yourself—more deeply.
6. Trust and learn from the silence. Silence is a gift in our noisy world, and a way of knowing in itself. Treat silence as a member of the group. After someone has
spoken, take time to reflect without immediately filling the space with words.
7. Observe confidentiality.